Frequently Asked Questions About Albert Ellis

My father is a therapist, and because of that, I often get asked by my friends about stuff with his job. Some of them ask me if he does assist those people with mental illnesses. Honestly, even though I am not sure how the process entirely goes, I can vouch for my dad that he’s been doing the best that he can when it comes to helping people deal with their emotional and psychological health. That is because, at some point, he managed to take care of mine.

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My father has been helping people for a decade now, and he’s pretty much good at it. He often receives recommendations and approvals because people find his method reliable and effective. And when I experienced it first-hand, it genuinely convinced me that he is the one that people need to talk with.

I remember when I was dealing with an emotional and mental health issue; my dad would spare his time for me and talk to me. At first, it was kind of awkward because my therapist was my dad, and I don’t entirely understand how his methods work. I often felt embarrassed because I don’t completely want him to know what I am dealing with emotionally and mentally. I mean, he’s my father, so I assumed he would get biased about it. Fortunately, my dad is a professional therapist, and he can manage to separate his profession from his personal matters. Thus, even if I am his daughter, my dad would treat me as one of his patients to focus on providing me with the overall help I need.

One time, I asked him how things would go, provided that I rely on his psychotherapy sessions. My father proudly told me that his methods are the best because it encouragingly helps his patients. I was confused by that, so I asked him to explain further. Then he said, “it is all about Albert Ellis Theory.”

Once I heard about that name, I immediately went online to search about that particular theory. Then I found out about RETB or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. I was hooked on it, and knowing some information about it made me realize that my dad is absolutely the best at what he does.

Now I know some details about Albert Elli’s Theory of RETB or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, allow me to share the information with you through these frequently asked questions below.

What is Albert Ellis’s theory? 

Albert Ellis Theory is called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy or also known as REBT. It is a short-term method of psychotherapy that focuses on creating positive and negative emotions. It helps in identifying self-defeating feelings and thoughts. It examines negative feelings and thoughts and replaces them with healthier and more productive ideas.

 What is Albert Ellis Rational Emotive Therapy? 

Albert Ellis is the one who introduced Rational Emotive Behavior therapy, or REBT, in the year 1950. It is an approach that helps transform irrational beliefs into self-constructive and rational thoughts. It sticks with the concept that emotions result solely from people’s beliefs and not from the situations in their lives.

 Is Albert Ellis still alive? 

Albert Ellis is one of the most provocative and influential figures whose innovative straight-talk approach to psychotherapy made it through modern psychology. Albert Ellis died at the age of 93 at his home above the institute he founded in Manhattan on 24 July 2007.

 Why is Albert Ellis important? 

Albert Ellis is an important part of psychology as he played a huge role in the cognitive revolution. He introduced and contributed effective new therapies to the world that have helped countless different types of people. Albert Ellis’ is the one who paved the way for a new representation of therapy that positively impacted the lives of many.

 What is the known predictor of therapeutic success? 

Though not always, therapists and patients often interestingly agree on the quality of their relationship. Factors that contribute to that success rely solely upon specific things. These include consistency of the therapist and understanding the goal and tasks of therapy. However, the patient’s perception of the relationship’s quality becomes the strongest predictor of treatment success. There should be an established effective connection between therapist and patient.

 What are the stages of a therapeutic relationship? 

The therapeutic relationship can be illustrated in terms of four sequential phases based on psychological practice. Each of these phases is characterized by identifiable skills and tasks. These phases include the interaction phase. It is a therapeutic relationship phase with indirect participation because it only starts to gather relevant client information. The next is the introduction phase, where the therapists and client fix an idea of what to expect based on previous experiences, relationships, attitudes, and beliefs. Next is the working phase, where interventions take place. Lastly, the termination phase or the examination of their goals’ achievement and review their time together.

 How can you create a therapeutic relationship with a patient? 

Qualities of a good therapeutic relationship start with an introduction. A handshake or a slight bow at the initial meeting is often a good way to establish respect and trust quickly. It is essential to ensure the patient’s privacy when the therapist provides care. The therapists should listen attentively and maintain professional boundaries.

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 How do I bond with my therapist? 

Yes. Patients need to have a solid bond with their therapist to have a successful therapeutic relationship. Note that good therapists create a safe space for their clients to speak and open up their situations and concerns without worrying about judgment or rejection. Therefore, an attachment is an asset and an indication of strength in the client-patient relationship.

 Do therapists fall in love with clients? 

Responsible and well-oriented therapists process these feelings in the professional supervision of their therapy. Usually, even if they fall in love with their clients, they do not discuss it with them as it will create an awkward situation. Aside from being unlikely unhelpful in the patient’s therapeutic process, desire and other unnecessary feelings might hinder the therapeutic progress.

 Do therapists love their clients? 

Some clients fall in love with their trusted therapist, which is a common scenario, especially when physical attraction begins. The feelings tend to grow when there is too much comfortability in the relationship. It is a dynamic known as transference. On the part of the therapists, there is a high percentage that men, compared to women, get physically, emotionally, and sexually attracted to their clients, at least on occasion.

 Is it okay to hug your therapist? 

Of course, some therapists willingly give hugs to ensure the comfortability and safety of their patients. However, some do not and often choose to have a physical connection during therapy sessions in professional principles. These therapists understand that the action could be easily misinterpreted and considered as a signal of a silent type of sexual abuse. But then again, when there is a need for a hug after some therapy sessions, hugging is entirely okay. It could only mean that you and your therapist have connected and shared some very deep emotional communication. Besides, hugging also offers overall benefits.

 Is it okay to cry in therapy? 

Yes. Crying during the therapy session is common as it helps you express your unspoken emotions. Please do not feel bothered about crying or feeling upset over the things that you can’t control. People deal with emotions as they cry, rage, laugh, rant, and talk throughout the counseling sessions. Part of the therapy process is to understand feelings, so if you need to cry, that is okay.

 Is crying in therapy a breakthrough? 

The very point that a client is crying and becomes emotionally and mentally vulnerable means there is a therapeutic breakthrough. It can mean that the client has already discovered the root of their mental illness or life issues and what kind of changes they need to build towards their successful and happy life. Or perhaps the client already realized that life is good even with uncertainties around.

 Why does my therapist stare at me?

Your therapist may stare at you for some reason. But practically, he may be simply observing you curiously and intently. That is because your body language often conveys more than your words, so your therapist keeps an eye on details to associate your behavior to your feeling about a given situation or topic. But if the stare makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s probably a good idea for you to tell your therapist.

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Final Thoughts

With this helpful information, I hope I managed to accommodate your queries even a little bit. Those people out there who are having an emotional and mental health issue always consider seeking professional help. Because you might never know, REBT can be the one for you.

Frequently Asked Questions About History Of Depression

We understand that depression is a mental health condition that affects all individuals in the world. Regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, and status, this mental health problem takes away our chances of living life to the fullest.

In my 28 years of existence, I know I have been dealing with depression so many times in so many ways. I believe it is incomparable to a temporary feeling. It includes cognitive and emotional malfunction that gets in the way of my abilities to make long-term and healthy decisions for myself. Depression for me is a stand feeling of being horrified beyond belief of something I know I am not in control of. It promotes an intense feeling of the absolute end that somehow makes me question everything good and bad in life.

Some say that the only way to better manage depression is to understand more about it. That is because there is so much helpful information about depression that is often interesting. One of them is its history. Thus, here are some of the few frequently asked questions about the history of depression.

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How did depression get its name?

The term depression originated from the Latin verb “deprimere.” It simply means “to press down” or “to depress.” It meant to overpower or to bring down in spirits. In the 14th century, depression was viewed and discussed as a spiritual issue rather than a mental or physical condition. At that time, like other psychological illnesses, depression was believed to be related to demonic possession. As such, it was dealt with by shaman and priests rather than physicians. Because of this dogma, it was often administered with inconsiderate methods, including physical restraint, starvation, and beatings, in an attempt to drive the demons out.

Depression was treated with torture way back in history. Mostly, drowning, exorcisms, and burning were the popular ones at the time. However, when medical practices were highly authorized back in the days, many people were locked up in so-called “lunatic asylums.” And as years went by, Trephination became popular. It is the process where a physician removed a small portion of the skull using a drill, saw, or bore. Trephination is a practice that was likely used to relieve headaches, brain problems, or even the belief in demonic possession.

 What are the major causes of depression?

Research suggests that depression is a mental health condition that does not appear only by having little or much of certain brain chemicals. Instead, depression’s possible causes vary, and these include genetic vulnerability, faulty mood regulation by the brain, medications, medical problems, trauma, and stressful life events. It also includes sexual, physical, or emotional abuse.

It is essential to understand that the causes of depression are sometimes vague. There are instances that people react to their triggers differently. With that, several treatments need specifics to address various mental health issues associated with depressive episodes.

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 When did the term depression start?

The term “depression” became a popular word in the 19th century. It was originally characterized as “mental depression” to explain the lowering of spirits. But when the era of psychology comes in, historical experts came to replace melancholia as a diagnosis. These experts explained that generally, depression does not spring from a particular event. Instead, it comes from a combination of recent stressful events, emotional issues, and other longer-term or personal factors.

 Who was the first individual to discover depression?

The influential German psychiatrist Emil Kraepelin became the first to differentiate manic depression and dementia praecox in 1895. It is the term for schizophrenia at the time, and now we know it as bipolar disorder. Emil Kraepelin was known as the founder of psychiatric genetics, modern scientific psychiatry, and psychopharmacology. He believed the principal origin of psychiatric disease is said to be genetic and biological malfunction. His work had a major impact on modern psychiatry and its understanding of mental illnesses based on accepted scientific ideas.

 Who made depression?

A Greek physician named Hippocrates suggested that the body’s imbalanced fluids caused depression (initially called “melancholia”). That particular melancholia was believed to be the cause of too much black bile in the spleen. Thus, Hippocrates’ treatments for the condition include bloodletting, baths, exercise, and diet. Meanwhile, in contrast, a Roman philosopher named Cicero concluded that melancholia had mental causes such as fear, rage, and grief.

 What does depression mean in history?

A depression in history is characterized as a pivotal downturn in the economy’s resources and activity. It relates to the association of a drastic fall in employment, financial growth, and economic production. Depressions are often acknowledged as recessions that usually last longer than three years or result in a drop in annual GDP of at least 10%.

 What’s the definition of depressed?

The best definition of being depressed is getting locked in a state of general unhappiness or hopelessness. Depression is an unvarying feeling of loss of interest in things you once liked, which stops you from doing your normal activities. Several representations of depression exist and affect people on different levels, ranging from almost minor to severe. Generally, depression does not result from a single episode but a mix of events and other factors.

But do not get fooled. There are cases that depressed individuals do not show signs of sadness and despair. Some can be great at hiding their emotions even if they are severely dealing with depressive symptoms. Some can still show a happy and cheerful expression, while others can still engage with active social connection. Some can also manage to talk about positivity while dealing with their suicidal thoughts.

 What is the true meaning of depression?

The true meaning of depression is that it is a mood disorder that brings a steadfast feeling of hopelessness, irritability, anger, sadness, and loss of interest in things that were once enjoyed. Depression is also known as a clinical disorder. It is a common mental health condition that affects how an individual thinks, feels, and behaves. Its severity can lead to various physical and emotional problems that impact an individual’s decision-making abilities, relationship with other people, and self-awareness.

But again, it is essential to identify the triggers of depression carefully due to some cases that one could get a misdiagnosis if he continually engages with self-test. It is much better to consult a professional expert to understand and know more about the process of necessary treatment.

 What depression means?

Depression is a common mental health crisis that involves low energy, an unregulated mood, and a loss of interest in activities. It is a mood disturbance that brings extreme feelings of sadness, loss, discouragement, despair, or anger. Depression is incomparable to feeling blue, sad, or down. The mental condition has a lot to do with imbalanced brain chemicals that trigger physical and emotional symptoms.

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 Is sadness a mood?

Sadness is part of the emotion that all humans feel during their stressful and unfortunate life experiences. Sadness is a natural response to circumstances that prompt disappointments, emotional pain, or upset. There are varying degrees of sadness, to begin with. However, like other emotions, sadness is temporary and usually fades away with time. Crying can be an indication of sadness. But a case of relentless sadness can be associated with depression. It is a mood that can be brought on by major depressive disorder or persistent depressive disorder. Sadness is part of the “six basic emotions” alongside happiness, fear, surprise, anger, and disgust.

 What is depression kid definition?

Depression is a mood disorder that can also affect children. The main sign is when kids are discouraged, sad, and sometimes unenergetic. Usually, children can be irritable for weeks, few months, or years. Another sign children might have depression is their constant negative thinking. It includes focusing on faults and problems, being mostly critical and self-critical, and often complaining about the small stuff.

 Where in the brain is depression?

The amygdala, hippocampus, and dorsomedial thalamus are the main subcortical limbic brain regions affected by depression. Both functional and structural abnormalities in these brain regions have been found in depression.

 How do I know if my child is bipolar?

There are specific signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder in children. One is severe mood swings that are often different from their accustomed mood swings. There is hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and aggressiveness. Sometimes they also engage in socially inappropriate behavior like bullying, physically and verbally hurting their peers. A child usually feels or acts as though on a high or overly active behavior in some instances. These include talking very quickly, changing topics suddenly on multiple occasions.

 What caused the Great Depression?

The world’s great depression began after the stock market crash of October 1929. It sent Wall Street into a panic and wiped out millions of investors. Over the next several years, consumer investment and spending dropped. It caused a steep turn down in industrial output and employment as failing companies laid off their employees.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Clinical Psychology

It has been proven repeatedly that people do not think of common occupations until they need to choose among them. When I went to college, I did not even know half of the possible jobs that I could have if I chose to major in this or that subject matter. And there I thought that I was 100% ready to have a full-time career. After a while, though, I decided to take up psychology. That’s when I realized that the said idea might be truer in this field than anywhere else.

Why, may you ask? The reason is that the branches of psychology tend to come by the dozen. You will not see them in your curriculum at once or when you are still trying to get your bachelor’s degree, of course. You’d think that it’s all you got to study – or at least that’s what I thought. After receiving my diploma, I had the harsh realization that I needed to specialize in one field of psychology if I wanted to be more than a school counselor. While there is nothing wrong with that occupation, it’s not my dream. Hence, I looked at all my choices carefully.

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The first one was neuropsychology. It would have been nice, but it meant getting stuck in a lab most days. I could also do evolution psychology, but it was such a controversial area. I thought of becoming an industrial-organizational psychologist, yes, but then I would have to deal with various employees every day.

If you might notice, clinical psychology was not my top choice. That’s mere because most of my classmates wanted to become a clinical psychologist, and I did not want to ride the tide. However, I eventually understood its appeal and ended up focusing on it.

Now, allow me to answer some frequently asked questions related to it:

What do psychologists do?

Psychologists are the type of mental health professionals who can help you understand why people think, act, or feel a certain way. They spend months or years assessing individuals’ individuals’ train of thoughts and behaviors and eventually interpreting them for the benefit of all.

What are some benefits of being a psychologist?

One of the primary benefits of being a psychologist is that you can help anyone to understand themselves, particularly their emotions and thoughts that they may not have always had. You know the studies and principles at the core level, so it will also be effortless to explain the circumstance to the patients’ loved ones without confusing them further.

On a personal level, being a psychologist means you may assess a person’s intentions better than a non-professional. It will be tough for anyone to deceive you since you can read and interpret their actions and expressions with ease.

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What is the main focus of clinical psychology?

Clinical psychology’s primary focus is to evaluate, understand, and diagnose a person’s mental and behavioral illnesses.

What do you learn in health psychology?

Health psychology talks about the effects of a person’s behavior, emotions, and way of thinking about their physical health. Many people do not realize that our physical and mental health are connected – any mental issue you have may manifest in your body. It is evident in people with depression who also experience muscle pain, sleeplessness, etc.

What are the responsibilities of a clinical psychologist?

A clinical psychologist is the professional to call when you show the possible signs of depression. They will conduct psychological evaluations, interpret the results, and connect with psychiatrists if need be.

Clinical psychologists usually focus on a single mental issue. Say, if it’s substance abuse, they study addiction and treatment exclusively. That will allow them to introduce therapy and counseling to patients expertly.

How does Clinical Psychology benefit society?

Many people suffer from mental health problems without them knowing what’s wrong with them. Sometimes, they feel moody, stressed, anxious, and depressed; other times, they hear voices in their heads, making them want to take their own lives.

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Clinical psychology benefits society by putting professionals up to enlighten such people about mental disorders that they may have. They can visit a clinical psychologist’s office to get assessed, diagnosed, and perhaps even treated. Although most mental health conditions have no cure, knowing what it is and how to reverse it will work wonders for the patient’s recovery.

How do clinical psychologists treat their patients?

Clinical psychologists obtain additional education and training to perform various types of therapy. E.g., cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectic behavior therapy, psychoanalytic therapy, and many more. That is how they treat their patients. It is only when none of the sessions work that they refer the patients to a psychiatrist.

Is there a difference between a psychologist and a clinical psychologist?

Yes, there is a difference between a clinical psychologist and a psychologist. The latter studies assess and interpret a person’s feelings, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. People go to them when they get overwhelmed by stress, fatigue, grief, etc.

On the other hand, a clinical psychologist can also do all of that, but they mostly deal with mental health disorders. E.g., anxiety, depression, personality disorders, and many more.

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Is a psychologist better than a therapist?

This question cannot be directly answered by yes or no. A psychologist may be better because they spend their professional years understanding human behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. This is their field of expertise; that’s why they can recommend proper treatment or therapy to the patients.

Consequently, a therapist’s edge over a psychologist is that they are experts in different fields. For instance, medical doctors, life coaches, and social workers can turn into therapists. When they meet a client, they can apply their know-how and other professional experiences to help them get better.

Do clinical psychologists give therapy?

Yes, clinical psychologists provide therapy to their patients. The form of treatment they give depends on their chosen expertise. If it’s cognitive-behavioral therapy, for example, that’s what they only focus on.

Final Thoughts

After practicing clinical psychology for approximately five years now, I can say that I have made the right career choice. It had not been easy to get my name out there when I initially opened my clinic, yes. I struggled to gain the trust of the people who ended up at my doorstep, yes. But when the first clients saw the positive changes in their lives under my care, I earned everyone’s respect as the town’s clinical psychologist.

Tips On Mental Health Improvement Amid The Pandemic

Tips On Mental Health Improvement Amidst The Pandemic

The entire world is in utter disarray now because of the novel coronavirus plaguing almost all countries. As the virus started to infect millions of people, the World Health Organization imposed health restrictions. Each country began to adjust to the so-called “new normal” that aims to reduce infection and slow down the spread of the virus.

Many cities needed to undergo quarantine and lockdown, some of which are still in effect today. Due to these restrictions in movement, economies are severely affected. Some businesses shut down, schools closed, and the once lively streets are now silent and empty. Only the health sector remains actively occupied with the unfortunate situation brought about by the pandemic. 

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People have been staying at home for months now. The new normal has affected both the education and the work, which now happen at home through the internet. Safety measures are now in place to protect the physical health of everyone.

As much as possible, people should limit their trips to work and essential chores such as stocking up of groceries. Since social gatherings and meet-ups are not allowed, family and friends hardly see each other.

Regular social activities have been an integral part of our lives. That is why these new changes are mentally challenging and stressful for many. Here are a few tips on improving your psychological well-being while in the middle of a crisis.

  • Find An Available Therapist Online

If you have a mental disorder, see to it to continue to seek professional help despite the pandemic. In this digital age, the internet offers the convenience of finding hundreds of opportunities online, including therapies.

Given the current situation, a hospital trip may do you more harm than good; that’s why you can have teletherapy instead. Even before, many physicians and therapists adapted the online platform for easier access. But with the pandemic, teletherapy has become handier for all. 

  • Be Physically Active

Plenty of studies have already proven the benefits that physical activity brings. People who are more physically active are healthier, stronger, and happier. Such activities include any form of exercise like walking, running, and jogging, or playing sports. Physical activities are useful in rehabilitation programs, so they undoubtedly improve the quality of life.

Just because your city is under lockdown doesn’t mean that you should not get out of your bed anymore. Movements outside may be currently limited, but there are online workouts that you can do indoors and in the comforts of your home. There are instructional videos that you can do even for just 10 minutes a day and are easy to follow.

  • Only Believe Reputable Sources Of Information

While the internet does bring you opportunities and privileges at your comfort, it can also fuel anxiety and further distress. Fake news and scams remain rampant online. With the outbreak still at large, it is best that you only rely on legitimate sources of news, information, and data.

This way, you will be updated with the newest health guidelines, latest information about the virus, and necessary restriction announcements particularly if your city is on lockdown. Managing what you follow can also help avoid speculations that may cause panic or hysteria, not just to you, but also to everyone else around you.

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  • Discover New Hobbies

Since you cannot go out because of restrictions, why not try to enhance new skills to make the most out of your time. Perhaps there is a language that you have been dying to learn or a skill that you have always wanted to try such as baking.

These hobbies could take unpleasant thoughts or things out of your mind while also giving you a sense of fulfillment. They could also serve as a great motivation to get out of bed and conquer a brand new day.

  • Eat Healthy Meals

No one knows how long the lockdown will occur, so it is better not to rely on fast food delivered at your doorstep. Staying at home gives you the chance to cook and prepare nutritious meals. If you do not know how to, then you have plenty of time to learn. There are over a million recipes you can choose from online.

A Friendly Reminder

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It is unfortunate that we are experiencing a global pandemic right now. We are going under an already taxing and frustrating process, and the battle will only end once a vaccine is available. In the meantime, you should put significance in your mental health by taking care of it.

It is a challenging time for everyone, so do not be too hard on yourself. If you feel idle and futile while the whole world is a mess, it is okay. Everyone responds to stress differently. At your own pace, in your own time. The world, including you, will heal once again.

 

Bad Habits To Change That Affect Family Relationships

What makes a house a home are the people harmoniously living in it. However, it will be challenging to achieve that if the family members are not behaving correctly. And if they are not really working towards that goal. Sit down, reflect, and think about your habits. Are they affecting your family relationships positively or negatively?

Here are some bad habits you may have that affect the harmony in your home.

Lying

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Every stable relationship is founded on honesty and integrity. So, if you are often lying to your partner to skip out on chores, or lying to your parent to avoid punishment, then you are negatively affecting your home. And do you know that lying can be learned? Children will more likely develop dishonestly if they often see their parents lying.

As Carl E Pickhardt Ph.D. puts it, “When a family leader models dishonesty for the kids, whether that adult does it at home or out in the world, then dishonesty is what some of these vulnerable youngsters may feel encouraged to emulate and follow.”

So before you think of lying to your partner about being busy or about financial matters, think twice. Then ask yourself, “do I want my children to lie to us too?” Also, telling the truth, although it sometimes hurt, is easier than lying. It is less stressful too.

Being Hot-Headed

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Do you find yourself becoming irritable and annoyed at all times? Do you notice that you are shouting or stomping around your house too? Then pause, take a deep breath, and reflect because this attitude is affecting your family dynamics.

As a parent, being angry often has an emotional and mental toll on your children. Anger and aggression are learned behaviors that your kids can pick up from their primary role models, which are their parents. Several studies have already been done. Most of them have shown that early exposure to violence influences a similar behavior in children.

Anger issues in children and adolescents do not only present at home but also in other environments. They may find it challenging to develop relationships with other people and find themselves always in trouble in different social situations. So try finding better ways to channel your anger and seek professional help before it worsens.

Need To Be Always Right

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The basic family structure is composed of parents and children. Each of these members has their own opinions and thoughts. A harmonious relationship works if everyone has a voice and is heard. Although sometimes, the parent or the child has this constant need to be always right, which affects your family relationship.

Often, it is the parent who wants to always get the final say. They are the elders, after all, and they must be respected and obeyed. However, this must not always be the case. Because contrary to the belief that parents know best, children may know better, especially when it is about themselves.

Also, it is the kid’s right to be heard and to participate in deciding matters that affect them. Furthermore, silencing your child’s voice may affect the development of their self-esteem, making it difficult for them to trust their own abilities.

And when you always let your child be right all the time, then you are not helping them grow too. What is needed to make a harmonious home is a proper balance between the parents’ and children’s voice. When you find that, you will also notice how easy it will be to be around the members of your family.

Showing Disrespect

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Respect plays an essential role in bringing harmony to your home. Elders always use age to explain why they must be respected, but age does not really matter. What you must remember is that everyone deserves to be regarded, even your kids.

When you do not show respect to your children’s opinions, later on, they may start disrespecting you too. Remember that you are the primary role model at home, and children will more likely grow up to be like you too.

Showing disrespect will not only affect how your kids behave at home but also in other social environments too. And when you hear other people that your children are rude, take that as a reflection of yourself too.

But, being disrespectful may not be learned from home but also from peers too. So, as a child or teen, think about how you talk with your parents.

Do you notice that you raise your voice at them often? Do you ignore their advice even when you know it is for your well-being? If you say yes to your questions, think about how you can change these behaviors and start to show respect to all members of your family.

Promoting harmony in your home starts with the willingness of each member of the family to achieve this goal. These habits are just some of the many that you should change to have an enjoyable and stress-free life with your family. 

 

 

Thinking Positive About Unemployment Due To Pandemic

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I could not help but cry with my mother as she told me that she was among the first people who lost their jobs at the accounting firm. She said, “The business was not going well due to the pandemic, and the bosses decided to let go of the oldest employees.” 

I knew how much Mom loved her work; she had been in the same company for as long as I could remember. My mother managed to send all three of us to college single-handedly because of it; that’s why she was always grateful for being there. Besides, her 50th birthday was only two months ago, and so she assumed that she had at least five or ten years before retirement. And now that that part of her life ended abruptly, she must feel so lost.

As the eldest daughter, though, I had to do something to make her swallow the reality more quickly. That’s when I thought of talking about unemployment positively and reminding her of the many things she could do with her free time, such as:

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Reconnecting With Old Friends And Family Members

Despite the devotion that my mother has shown to her work, it has undoubtedly not happened without sacrifices. She used to go to the office from Mondays through Saturdays, so she could not attend social gatherings. She would agree to meet with her friends or sisters sometimes but only to bail on them at the last minute. 

I must admit that it caused rifts to develop between Mom and the people we love. But thanks to her newfound freedom, she can now reconnect and reconcile with all of them. 

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Going To Dream Destinations

My siblings and I always called Mom a saint, given that she never wanted to do anything for herself. Most of her monthly wage went to our education and house bills, you see. She had savings, but she refused to spend it on a trip to Greece and the Netherlands, which were her dream destinations. Mom often said, “Why will I do that when I can keep on working here and give you everything you need?”

My mother’s responsibilities to us had already ended when my youngest brother graduated college three years ago. She managed to keep the majority of her salary, mainly because we insisted on paying for her mortgage and other bills since then. Now that she no longer has a job, she can finally visit any country she fancies. 

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Starting A New Business

Mom has always been known as the best dessert maker in the family. On every special occasion, our relatives would ask her to bring pies or cakes, which she does graciously. It is no secret that she wants to turn it into a business someday, but she always pushes it aside, claiming to be too busy with work.

Luckily, unemployment gives my mother no reason to keep on putting off her dreams of opening a dessert shop. The funding is not a problem; she has us—her family—who believe in her skills and are willing to invest in the new business if need be. This way, she won’t need to touch her retirement money.

Final Thoughts

Getting a call or email about your termination is not a positive experience, for sure. That is especially true when it happens during a pandemic, and your job is your only source of income. Still, it is not necessary to beg your bosses to take you back in, considering you can do a lot of things—both worthwhile and money-making—outside of the workplace. You merely need to keep an open mind, see where life takes you, and create opportunities for yourself.

 

Looking At The Lockdown In A Positive Light

Understanding your panic attacks during this lockdown is not too challenging. As you watch or read the news regarding the coronavirus outbreak, only an emotionless person may not feel even a little scared about it. Nothing about the rising death toll or the steady spread of the virus is normal, after all. Many experts compare what we are going through to the 1918 pandemic, and it does not seem incorrect at all. Thousands of people die every day, and no one can cure COVID-19 at the time of writing this blog.

Regardless of how understandable your emotions are, though, perhaps it is time for you to calm down. Allow me to present a few positive facts about this COVID-19 lockdown that may ease your anxiety.

We Are Safe

The governors in the states where there are many positive cases of COVID-19 have ordered everyone to stay at home indefinitely. No one can party or go to work (unless you are a front-line worker). If you need to go out, it should only be for buying groceries or medication. Other states have been locked down, which means that people from different places cannot enter as quickly as before. If anyone insists, they will need to do 14-day isolation to ensure that they do not carry the coronavirus.

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Are these protocols drastic? Maybe. But there is no other way to keep everyone safe. And we are safe because we no longer leave the house and possibly bump into strangers who may have the virus.

We Can Tighten Our Familial Bonds

Considering you have always worked so hard, to the extent that you have not seen your kids grow up, you can now make up for the lost time. The kids do not need to go to school; you and your wife may be working from home, too. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about the coronavirus, focus on improving your relationship with your entire family.

You may start by hosting an indoor game that everyone loves, such as board games, charades, etc. The goal is to show your loved ones that you are present and that you want to bond with them. It will also be fantastic if you can cook, clean, and do other things as a unit.

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We Can Care For Ourselves

The lockdown is a blessing in disguise for individuals who have not taken a vacation in months. You can sleep for as many hours as you need to feel alive again. You can DIY manicure and pedicure if that makes you happy.

Self-care is one of the essential things that we often forget or take for granted when we are busy. Yes, we make a lot of money in the process, but we tend to fall apart little by little. If the lack of self-care continues, we may end up requiring hospitalization due to fatigue and other stress-related conditions.

We Don’t Need To Dress Up

As a working adult, you probably know how vital it is to look presentable whenever you leave the house. That is especially true if you are in the corporate or fashion world, and people will judge you based on your appearance. But because the quarantine has forced businesses to make employees work from home, you don’t need to dress up anymore.

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This change may be small, but it can have a significant effect on your mental health. Imagine, you can do your job in your PJs. You don’t have to get up earlier than everyone to put on makeup and drive to work. Even if it is only temporary, the fact that you need not comply with social norms or dress codes can be a rewarding experience that you can cherish forever.

Final Thoughts

You see, the lockdown does not seem so bad. You cannot hang out with your friends—that’s true. Your schedule for the next few months may have been derailed—that’s also true. However, those things are not as important as your safety, mental health, and family.

Don’t break the quarantine rules, okay?

Self-Help Counseling Suggestions To End One’s Addiction To Negativity

 

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Have you ever thought of what it’s like to be in the shoes of a pessimist?

Say, your company posts a vacancy notice for the position you’ve been dreaming of for over a year. You initially think that it’s your chance to take that spot. But after knowing that your other colleagues are vying for it as well, you end up canceling your application, assuming the file may get misplaced or someone else is more suitable for the job.

Such a characteristic isn’t admirable since it causes you to miss out on a lot of opportunities.Your head stays filled with things you can’t do instead of the ones you can do. Being watchful of the people around you and toying with the idea that they’re better than you all the time becomes your second nature as well.

What you’re possibly dealing with is an addiction to negativity. In our book, that’s more dangerous compared to drugs or gambling because the source of the problem is intangible. It’s inside your system, to be precise, and only you can make that disappear.

 

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Hence, check out the self-help counseling tips below before your pessimism blows everything out of proportion.

  1. Stay Away From Judgmental Folks

Off the bat, remember that birds of the same feather usually flock together. When you often speak with individuals who have a habit of criticizing you or others, you will eventually adopt their mindset and believe that they’re right about you. Your confidence level may deplete then until you no longer know how amazing it feels to be optimistic.

A feasible solution to this issue is keeping your distance from them. If cutting ties with these people is impossible, especially if they happen to be the members of your family, just minimize the time you spend with them. According to Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, “Avoiding someone you love, whether you’re avoiding them in person, online, or even just in your own thoughts, can be done by changing your mindset and staying focused.”

  1. Think Before Opening Your Mouth

Do you sometimes wonder why your best friends don’t include you when planning a party and merely give you an address and a date afterward? Since they still invite you to the occasion, it doesn’t mean that they hate your guts. However, they’re probably afraid that you’ll counter their suggestions, which is typical of individuals who have an addiction to negativity.

To overcome that – and to live in harmony with your friends again – try thinking of your word choices before commenting. You’re already aware of the fact that they feel ill about your pessimistic ideas after all. You only need to say the opposite of the initial thoughts, and that’s something you can achieve with regular practice.

  1. Weigh Ideas Objectively

The main problem with being addicted to negativity is that you solely set your eyes on the cons. You fail to recall that pros can exist too, and there’s a 50% chance that they’ll be able to overpower the cons.

According to Diane R. Girardot, M.A., LPC, “When we think good things, we feel good things and our behaviors are good.”

So in case you honestly want to kick your pessimism to the curb, you need to have an unbiased mind. If you must, create an actual list of advantages and disadvantages of doing this or that activity. The difference between the number of pros and cons will quickly show you whether your adverse ideas have a basis or it’s time to be positive for once.

 

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Hopefully, you’ll see that there are more victories to garner in life when you’re optimistic.

Should the self-help suggestions above not suffice to treat your issues, seek counseling soon. According to Jeffrey E. Barnett, PsyD, “New technologies are increasing access to mental health care and helping psychologists run their practices more smoothly and efficiently than ever before.” As such, it is best to look for a therapist as soon as possible.

Telltale Signs That Your Marriage Will Survive After Seeing A Counselor

Marriage counseling is the way to go when you cannot resolve your trivialities with your spouse. However, what may be so awful about it that some couples end up splitting without meeting a counselor?

 

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One of the highly probable reasons is that the married folks are afraid of the truths that will come out of the treatment. A fantastic therapist, after all, believes that healing starts once you find and deal with the root of the issues. Hence, he or she will inevitably try to turn every stone – even the deep-seated ones – for the sake of helping both individuals recover from the situation.

Now, of course, not all marriages survive that kind of procedure. The union may already be on the rocks, to begin with, and the counselor is only there to assist them in realizing that it is better to part ways peacefully. Nonetheless, you can always hope for the opposite. According to Lori Weisman, MA, LMHC, “Marriage counseling intensive can bring you back together.”

Below are the telltale signs that your marriage will survive after seeing a counselor.

 

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  1. You Admit Your Faults

A person who enters the counseling office with a frown but comes out in a much lighter mood is someone who most likely opened up about their mistakes to their better half and the therapist. It takes great humility to do that because it can be challenging to admit even to yourself that you are wrong. However, the fact that you acknowledged your misgivings, and vice versa, entails that there may still be a chance to preserve your union.

  1. You Are Calm

Angry people cannot ever find peace since their ability to handle logic gets clouded by intense negative emotion. Instead of hearing out the spouse’s side of the story, they will try to cut them off more than once and divert the counselor’s attention to them. Hence, the session yields zero progress. According to Mindy Newman , MA, MTS, LMHC, “Staying calm comes from healing our own anger. This is because as long as we’re meeting the world’s rage with our own rage, more rage is guaranteed.”

For your marriage to endure the therapy, you have to maintain your sensibility. There may be moments while listening wherein you want to give snide remarks, yet you should try to contain yourself until the other party finishes speaking. That may allow you to gain new information as to why your partner did this and that, as well as understand whether there is still hope for your marriage or not.

 

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  1. Your Priority Is The Family

Visiting a counselor with one primary goal – to restore your family – is the most mature thing you can do. You are both aware that if you do not make an effort to resolve your problems, you know that there will be precious kids who may have to have two Christmases, birthdays, New Years, et cetera afterward. Thus, you might not struggle too much to follow the therapist’s suggestions on how to improve your relationship as a couple. Also, do not forget that having arguments within the family is only normal. According to Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW,  “Differences are what keeps the relationship interesting.”

  1. You Start Having Sex Again

When you hate your significant other’s gut, there is no way your libido will fire up when he or she is near. To some extent, you may even find standing close to this person revolting.

However, once you consummate your marriage again, things may be looking brighter than ever for the two of you. You get to reconnect at an intimate level, which allows you to stop bickering and genuinely talk about what went wrong. Then, healing and reconciliation may finally begin.

 

In case you notice all the signs above between you and your spouse, your marriage may indeed survive after meeting a counselor.

 

Therapies To Try When Preserving Your Marriage

 

Being born in this era is a great thing. You have access to stuff that your ancestors did not even get a chance to see, e.g., smartphones, internet, supercars, et cetera. Possible cures for various problems are also available to many. As far as we know, there are even treatments for married couples who hit a rocky patch.

 

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Below are the therapies to try as an attempt to preserve one’s marriage.

 

  1. Communication Counseling

Communication-focused treatment is among the most valuable techniques out there. Quite often, partners have a hard time being on the same page and agreeing on stuff since they do not initially have the means to converse openly. One may even be judgmental, while the other is more of a submissive type; thus, the latter cannot argue with the former at all.

To improve the situation, the therapist can suggest sentence reconstruction to the couple. Use “we” or “our” a lot, for instance, instead of “I.” You may also add phrases at the beginning of every comment that indicates that you truly listened to what your partner said recently. If you can do that, your marriage may soon be out of danger. According to Dr. Jesse D. Matthews, “Talking about it and trying to find an understanding is what will help a couple to find or stay in a healthy place.”

 

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  1. Positive Psychology

As the name signifies, this form of counseling focuses on helping couples like you to touch base with the joyful aspects of your relationship. Kasi Howard, PsyD suggests “If I’m getting down or feeling anxious, I’ll make a list of things that I’m grateful for, it flips my mindset and keeps me from ruminating on things that are stressful, or from focusing on the negative. Plus, it’s a big mood lifter.”

A counselor does that by asking each person to write happy moments on a journal daily. In case one session proves that you forgot to do so, he or she may throw pages in the mix as a means of reminding you to take note of your fantastic meetings as a couple. Ideally, by the end of your treatment, you will be able to acknowledge the positive points of being with one another even without a therapist’s encouragement.

 

  1. Narrative Therapy

Considering you are highly comfortable when you tell a story, the narrative type of therapy may suit you more than anything.

What occurs at the beginning of this treatment is that the counselor may allow their clients to narrate their problems from the start. Once that’s known to everyone in the room, the therapist will try to make you realize that you carry those issues, yet you are not the issue. From there, he or she can highlight the negative parts of your story, and then offer you alternative ways to look at them differently.

This practice lets you rewrite the course of your marriage for the better, in a manner of speaking.

 

  1. Psychodynamic Counseling

It is no longer strange to find an individual with a dysfunctional attitude within a union. The husband or wife might be abusive, for example, or only thinks that whatever they say is the law at home. Hence, there may always be pandemonium in that household.

When you decide to meet a therapist for psychodynamic counseling, you’ll find that this professional can assist you in figuring out each other’s behavioral pattern. Meaning to say, how do you react when this or that situation takes place? They may help you deal with buried experiences finally, which may be fueling the unusual characteristics.

 

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Trying any or all of these therapies cannot ascertain by a hundred percent that your marriage will remain intact forever. However, the fact that you are keen to go through various assessments to resolve your problems entails that you are on the right path, so good luck on your healing journey together. Take note that Sheila Kamen, PsyD, says, “What counts in making a happy marriage is not how compatible two people are, but how they deal with the incompatibilities in their marriage.”