Have you ever thought of what it’s like to be in the shoes of a pessimist?
Say, your company posts a vacancy notice for the position you’ve been dreaming of for over a year. You initially think that it’s your chance to take that spot. But after knowing that your other colleagues are vying for it as well, you end up canceling your application, assuming the file may get misplaced or someone else is more suitable for the job.
Such a characteristic isn’t admirable since it causes you to miss out on a lot of opportunities.Your head stays filled with things you can’t do instead of the ones you can do. Being watchful of the people around you and toying with the idea that they’re better than you all the time becomes your second nature as well.
What you’re possibly dealing with is an addiction to negativity. In our book, that’s more dangerous compared to drugs or gambling because the source of the problem is intangible. It’s inside your system, to be precise, and only you can make that disappear.
Hence, check out the self-help counseling tips below before your pessimism blows everything out of proportion.
- Stay Away From Judgmental Folks
Off the bat, remember that birds of the same feather usually flock together. When you often speak with individuals who have a habit of criticizing you or others, you will eventually adopt their mindset and believe that they’re right about you. Your confidence level may deplete then until you no longer know how amazing it feels to be optimistic.
A feasible solution to this issue is keeping your distance from them. If cutting ties with these people is impossible, especially if they happen to be the members of your family, just minimize the time you spend with them. According to Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, “Avoiding someone you love, whether you’re avoiding them in person, online, or even just in your own thoughts, can be done by changing your mindset and staying focused.”
- Think Before Opening Your Mouth
Do you sometimes wonder why your best friends don’t include you when planning a party and merely give you an address and a date afterward? Since they still invite you to the occasion, it doesn’t mean that they hate your guts. However, they’re probably afraid that you’ll counter their suggestions, which is typical of individuals who have an addiction to negativity.
To overcome that – and to live in harmony with your friends again – try thinking of your word choices before commenting. You’re already aware of the fact that they feel ill about your pessimistic ideas after all. You only need to say the opposite of the initial thoughts, and that’s something you can achieve with regular practice.
- Weigh Ideas Objectively
The main problem with being addicted to negativity is that you solely set your eyes on the cons. You fail to recall that pros can exist too, and there’s a 50% chance that they’ll be able to overpower the cons.
According to Diane R. Girardot, M.A., LPC, “When we think good things, we feel good things and our behaviors are good.”
So in case you honestly want to kick your pessimism to the curb, you need to have an unbiased mind. If you must, create an actual list of advantages and disadvantages of doing this or that activity. The difference between the number of pros and cons will quickly show you whether your adverse ideas have a basis or it’s time to be positive for once.
Hopefully, you’ll see that there are more victories to garner in life when you’re optimistic.
Should the self-help suggestions above not suffice to treat your issues, seek counseling soon. According to Jeffrey E. Barnett, PsyD, “New technologies are increasing access to mental health care and helping psychologists run their practices more smoothly and efficiently than ever before.” As such, it is best to look for a therapist as soon as possible.