Controlling Your Emotions So They Don’t Get The Best Of You




Our feelings are an important facet of our daily lives. There are days when we just feel so overwhelmed with work that a simple text message of good wishes immediately lightens our mood. We feel so down thinking about our families away from home that we all we could think about one lonely evening is to talk to an online therapist and vent everything out. Sometimes, we are annoyed even if we just got out of the house because of the heat and traffic. Our everyday experiences relevantly affect our emotional well-being.

The ability of an individual to control his emotions, in turn, will affect how people perceive you. If you’re reading a text like you’ve seen a clown and you’re in a conference, then your colleagues might give you that scornful look. If a kid unintentionally hits you while you’re walking and you shout at her with rage because she stepped on your shoes, people around you might think you’re too apathetic.


The Concept Of Emotions

The field of emotions is not exactly categorized as a science. Psychology experts argue that the mind and body connection does not prove to have a complete structure of one’s emotions. They even debate whether emotions are a result of how we view the world. The process of emotional regulation is still being researched and studied up until today.

James Gross, a psychologist from Stanford University, presented a model composed of four stages that explain the order of events that happens when one’s emotions are activated. The process starts with the modal model, where someone grabs our attention, and then we begin to think about the situation. Our emotions are playing at this time, appraising the situation.

Other emotional responses, however, don’t require a certain regulation. If you feel that your feelings are appropriate to the circumstance and they are helping you feel good about yourself, then there’s no need to be alarmed about how you’re handling things. Getting mad someone shouts at you in the middle of traffic is an appropriate response, or laughing when a joke equally amuses others is a correct reaction. Sometimes, though, even if it’s appropriate, there are situations wherein you only have to contain yourself and calm yourself down, such as going in road rage when you’re frustrated or depressed. It may help you feel better, but it’s an inappropriate reaction that can put other lives in danger.



You can prepare yourself in advance so that when you can get away with negative emotions before they disrupt your life.


  • Choose The Situation. You know yourself better than anyone, so when you spot an emotional trigger, avoid it. If patience is not your best quality, do away with waiting in line to get a cab late in the evening. Try getting off work early so you’ll end up in a shorter line. If there’s someone you particularly don’t like, then find ways to prevent yourself from bumping into him or her.
  • Modify The Situation. You don’t want to feel disappointed because eventually, you’ll feel frustrated and then depressed. You want to make your family and friends happy, so you cook them something special, but then there’s always going to be something wrong – just a small glitch will frustrate you because you expect too much of yourself. So adjust the situation. Find recipes that are in your range or easy for you to do – ones that you’ve mastered – so you can successfully pull it off.
  • Shift Your Focus To Another Target. Sometimes, even if you’re trying your best to work out and look great, you can help but be envious of the others who have toned and managed to carry much heavier weights than you. To alleviate this, why not notice the newbies who can’t even hold a dumbbell well? That way, you’ll be able to maintain, if not improve, your confidence. Even better, shift your attention to what you are doing, not what the others are doing.



  • Change Your Responses. If your attempts at controlling your emotions fail and you are unable to prevent or modify the situation, change your thoughts. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and keep calm. Imagine peace and quiet. Think happy thoughts. If you’re angry deep down, think about anger will wear you down emotionally and even physically. When you learn to alter the negativity and master it, you will eventually fulfill emotional stability and well-being.