Being born in this era is a great thing. You have access to stuff that your ancestors did not even get a chance to see, e.g., smartphones, internet, supercars, et cetera. Possible cures for various problems are also available to many. As far as we know, there are even treatments for married couples who hit a rocky patch.
Below are the therapies to try as an attempt to preserve one’s marriage.
- Communication Counseling
Communication-focused treatment is among the most valuable techniques out there. Quite often, partners have a hard time being on the same page and agreeing on stuff since they do not initially have the means to converse openly. One may even be judgmental, while the other is more of a submissive type; thus, the latter cannot argue with the former at all.
To improve the situation, the therapist can suggest sentence reconstruction to the couple. Use “we” or “our” a lot, for instance, instead of “I.” You may also add phrases at the beginning of every comment that indicates that you truly listened to what your partner said recently. If you can do that, your marriage may soon be out of danger. According to Dr. Jesse D. Matthews, “Talking about it and trying to find an understanding is what will help a couple to find or stay in a healthy place.”
- Positive Psychology
As the name signifies, this form of counseling focuses on helping couples like you to touch base with the joyful aspects of your relationship. Kasi Howard, PsyD suggests “If I’m getting down or feeling anxious, I’ll make a list of things that I’m grateful for, it flips my mindset and keeps me from ruminating on things that are stressful, or from focusing on the negative. Plus, it’s a big mood lifter.”
A counselor does that by asking each person to write happy moments on a journal daily. In case one session proves that you forgot to do so, he or she may throw pages in the mix as a means of reminding you to take note of your fantastic meetings as a couple. Ideally, by the end of your treatment, you will be able to acknowledge the positive points of being with one another even without a therapist’s encouragement.
- Narrative Therapy
Considering you are highly comfortable when you tell a story, the narrative type of therapy may suit you more than anything.
What occurs at the beginning of this treatment is that the counselor may allow their clients to narrate their problems from the start. Once that’s known to everyone in the room, the therapist will try to make you realize that you carry those issues, yet you are not the issue. From there, he or she can highlight the negative parts of your story, and then offer you alternative ways to look at them differently.
This practice lets you rewrite the course of your marriage for the better, in a manner of speaking.
- Psychodynamic Counseling
It is no longer strange to find an individual with a dysfunctional attitude within a union. The husband or wife might be abusive, for example, or only thinks that whatever they say is the law at home. Hence, there may always be pandemonium in that household.
When you decide to meet a therapist for psychodynamic counseling, you’ll find that this professional can assist you in figuring out each other’s behavioral pattern. Meaning to say, how do you react when this or that situation takes place? They may help you deal with buried experiences finally, which may be fueling the unusual characteristics.
Trying any or all of these therapies cannot ascertain by a hundred percent that your marriage will remain intact forever. However, the fact that you are keen to go through various assessments to resolve your problems entails that you are on the right path, so good luck on your healing journey together. Take note that Sheila Kamen, PsyD, says, “What counts in making a happy marriage is not how compatible two people are, but how they deal with the incompatibilities in their marriage.”